given the volume of false information i hear in a day its amazing that i bother to listen to anyone.

at the post office yesterday i asked for “two books of self-adhesive stamps that don’t have…” and never got to finish my though because the postal clerk is now used to customers asking for stamps without flags on them.

enormity paralysis – the ineffectual coping stratagem of reacting to ridiculously large amounts of work or stress by doing absolutely nothing.

isn’t it counter productive to treat patients at the hospital who insist on
dragging an iv stroller outside to smoke.

i think you should carry the baby for the first nine months after its born since i did these nine months. -what you would be getting if my wife wrote this site

i’ve never been very fond of babies, so as i begin to notice slight attitude changes i have to wonder if the forty weeks of pregnancy is for the baby’s development or mine.

a strong case could be made, which i would have to favor, that hawaiian ukulele music is the most obnoxious sound on the planet.

i can tell my wife loves and accepts me when she delivers a spoon, fork and knife to me for eating soup in a bread bowl.

i feel somehow marginalized when automatic faucets and toilets fail to acknowledge my presence.

email signatures that attempt to be cute or expressive are ridiculous, except this one:

#include<stdio.h> /* 19990429 PUBLIC DOMAIN MySig(sig.c) Tweaks welcome */
main(c,v)char *v;{return !c?putchar(*v-1)&&main(0,v+1/*build:cc -o sig.c*/
):main(0,"Kpio!R!Tnjui!=kpiorAopiptu/dpn?\v\1");}/*      C Rulz         */

when mutually exclusive, defending one’s self-interest nearly always trumps moral and virtuous behavior.