why does the dry cleaner bother to ask for a phone number if they have no intention of calling you in case you forget something there.

i dress a lot snappier now that natalie picks out and purchases most of my clothes. unfortunately if i did the same for her she would probably end up looking like a whore in mini skirt and thigh boots or something else equally ridiculous.

the expression ‘high on life’ makes me want a toke.

roll coins for thirty minutes and when your done, look at, then smell your hands. that’s why they call it filthy lucre.

has anyone on the planet ever actually purchased something because they saw it advertised on the side of a bus?

any mistakes found on this website are purely intentional and have been included solely to test the attentiveness of the reader.

the biggest messes in my kitchen have resulted from coffee, not thanksgiving or even natalie’s cooking, but coffee.

the difference between someone telling me how something would make them feel versus them telling me how it will make me feel is the difference between me respecting their insight or completely dismissing their opinion.

i’ve never heard anyone use the excuse “my heart only got a certain number of beats and i don’t want to waste too many” for not exercising… i think this makes a strong argument.

when a child looses a permanent tooth you can attempt to re-root the tooth by returning it to the vacated socket. if the tooth will not stay in place, store it in milk and schedule an appointment with the dentist. -the last thing natalie learned in residency.