parents who choose circumcision for their sons should be forced to witness the disfiguring assembly line of terror their defenseless, trusting child is put through.

i may add an ‘l’ to both and pronounce it ‘bolth’ but at least i don’t also add a ‘t’ to across and say ‘acrosst’.

don’t expect to be taken seriously in a professional setting if you choose to write documents in the ‘comic sans’ font.

i love the ‘thank you for your contribution – how about more?’ response letter from charities.

what does it say about the kind of day its going to be if you run your face through three meaty spider webs before 8am?

the day after i read a complaint on my employers intranet about spitballs on the lunchroom tv i found pencils stuck in the ceiling of a conference room – i certainly feel part of a professional organization now.

fat guys on mopeds – very funny.

i’m going to christen my house ‘alvin maker’ since water consistently attempts to destroy it.

i am now able to tell you how unfortunate it is to start off a three day weekend with ernie’s rubber ducky song stuck in your head.