depending upon whose research you believe divorce either increases or decreases after a the birth of a first child – i’ll bet you can guess whoe research shows which.

how can you tell if grapenuts are stale?

working at a bank reminds me a lot of elementary school – everyone is immature and you get columbus day off.

i think the vulnerability of human babies is natures way of attempting to limit the number of humans on the planet.

i would love to think that when a woman slows down and changes course to walk behind me she’s doing it for the same reason i would.

governor arnold schwarzenegger – are you shitting me. i guess that makes russell crowe or nicole kidman shoe−ins for president if either decides to enter the race.

nudity enhances film like plot enhances porn.

my wife concerns herself only with matters of consequence and i fret over everything else.

its unfortunate that performance expectations are naturally adjusted to the perceived level of a subjects ability. for example, confidence in arnold increases when he doesn’t completely face plant in a scripted debate – so it must follow that he is capable to run the fifth largest economy in the world.

i would kill to live in a world where the daily banter was as snappy as that on the west wing or even the gilmore girls.

there was no part of leaving my child at someone else’s house to be cared for by someone other than my wife that didn’t feel like selling him in to slavery.