a friend of mine who manages a call center recently called hr to initiate the process of firing an employee who was falling asleep on the job. when she told the story to the hr representative they actually responded: “did you tell the employee they were not supposed to fall asleep on the job”.

a great deal of the time thoughts of the day are composed with a close friend in mind, how often could you tell it was you?

its been very tough to be a st. louis blues hockey fan. for years they have traded marquee players that went on to win a stanley cup with their new teams, the botched the scott stevens trade but still had to pay for him, their win/loss record since december 20th is 9-18-5 and yesterday they fired joel quenneville. no wonder they call them the blues.

my favorite thing about microsoft technologies is that you always get to buy additional products to make them behave the way you want.

it wasn’t the first time… it wasn’t the second time… but on her third trip to the dmv lisset was finally able to climb out of the car, pump her fists and celebrate receiving her u.s. drivers license.

patient: i have bags under my eyes.
natalie: its because your old.

the most direct dodge i’ve ever heard: “i know this doesn’t address your question but its an answer that is much more interesting”.

my proudest achievement yesterday came from, sadly enough, knowing the ascii character code for space and carriage return.

a corporate software install warning: the install can take approximately 15 minutes up to 3 or 4 hours.

is being a parent automatic membership in to the establishment?

one of the most insightful pieces of peer criticism i have ever received was: “instead of adapting to others, you expect others to adapt to you”.

for the second time in just over a month i have seen someone show up to work in a snappy dress shirt lined with square creases that expose how recently it was extracted from its original packaging.