the latest spam message i received reportedly from myself, told myself that the support team (once again, myself) recommends that i open the attached zip file to keep myself safe from myself.

i’d be crying about the pathetic cardinal performance in the world series if i hadn’t been tickled so by a campy old video of dionne warwick and friends singing ‘thats what friends are for’ i happened across while channel surfing between innings.

it took more than a week and honestly i intended no malice, nevertheless tld has brought down the juju gods on me…

who’s to say whether its the wraps, fruit smoothies or the smoking hot female body builder that draws us to octane for lunch downtown…

you would expect to pass through a town named “killdeer” and see folks wearing shirts reading “i’ll bring the whooping, you bring the ass” when you spend a weekend in savage montana.

bring on the red sox – go cards!

there is hope for our country after all… in nickeodeon’s kids pick the president poll, kerry defeats bush 57% to 43%.

its tragic when your conscience prevents you from pulling off the perfect practical joke.

yet another feature of having been a burnout when i was young is that while my friends and i were kicking back pondering the depth of pink floyd lyrics everyone else was blowing out their knees and shoulders in high school sports so now in my late thirties i’m in great shape in comparison to all the former teen jocks.

the police force in my community are notoriously pesky about enforcing the ridiculously slow speed limits throughout our city. ordinarily, i’m not a fan of this policy but after getting cut off and then watching this blue blood cuss weave in and out of traffic seeing the c.h.p.d. light up behind him was oh soo sweet.

i really only have two vivid memories of my grandfather and they are both bad jokes. the first was:

q: pete and repete were in a boat, pete fell out and who was left?
a: repeat
q: pete and repete were in a boat, pete fell out and who was left?
a: repeat
and on and on…

and the second:

q: if a plane crash crashes on the border of the united states and canada where do you bury the survivors?
a: you don’t bury survivors.

what did people sing to their children when playing pony before the having the musical score from the lone ranger?