there were only two days in all of january where my internet server was not port swept – evil bastards.

present’s day (february 5th) is beginning to move in to the mainstream – this year we even got a presents’ day card from a friend.

if a full gallon of milk is dropped from the top shelf of the refrigerator on to the floor, it will explode and showers of milk will pour in to the basement.

you just can’t be that stupid – some friends at work introduced me to the brilliant self-help book “he’s just not that into you: the no-excuses truth to understanding guys” and judging from the chapter titles alone anyone reading this book is certainly destined for sad relationships.

sample chapter titles:
he’s just not that into you if he’s having sex with someone else
he’s just not that into you if he’s disappeared on you
he’s just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he’s drunk

from a concerned reader:

?: why does your site no longer update at midnight. it used to be that if i hit your site post 11pm cst i would see your next day’s quip. this is no longer the case.
a: i’m cracking under the pressure man! i need more time…

i guess cheney was trying to take some heat off prince henry for dressing up like a nazi…