we have resorted to catholic voodoo to sell our house and now have a saint buried in our front yard.

do you think its chic in russia and china to adopt unwanted american children?

our government is ok pushing digital television standards but is nowhere to be found on clean air and fuel economy?!? i guess i just don’t love freedom.

natalie and i are always arguing about the benefits/risks of letting senior citizens play behind the wheel of two thousand pound automobiles, chalk one up in my column after the golden girls laid waste to the back of my rental car on the highway.

i form a lot of opinions about a person based on the quantity of scuzz caked to their monitor and keyboard.

looks like the ncaa men’s basketball champions won’t be the only ones to call chapel hill home.

email from my father:

it seems to me that you are beginning to learn that the rest of the world isn’t wrong all of the time…

too bad he’s wrong.

if the homeless guy who slept in the stairwell of our parking garage last week came back to our offices and demanded we pay him or he would pee in there again – he would immediately become financially independent.

i heard that if a cat lost its whiskers it would fall over and crash in to things because they use their whiskers to maintain balance and to judge their relative position to other objects. as a curious youth i decided to verify this claim and in my experiment the cat neither fell over or crashed in to things but did go absolutely pet-cemetary crazy.

i was a bit more bitter and angry yesterday than usual – so i’m going to keep my opinions to myself.

something else your not likely to hear outside the south: “we used to need slaves to pick cotton”.