its hard to say who was ballsier, the handicapped guy who remarked to the soccer mom “handicapped parking is getting hard to find these days – even for people who are walking” or the soccer mom, standing beside her suburban on a cell phone, who readily agreed with him.

the mantra at my previous employer “you want to go ride bikes?” was derived from the following joke:

q: how many a.d.h.d. kids does it take to change a light bulb?
a: do you want to go ride bikes?

one of the more memorable stories from my father’s recent visit:

one day when your cousin jane was about ethan’s age she was crying because she got a balloon that was filled with air and it didn’t float. i told her if she heated the air inside the balloon it would float and then without thinking took out my lighter and attempted to heat the air inside the balloon.

even my father felt like a monster after popping a little girl’s balloon.

its a myth that having more kids increases your patience. what it does is increase the number of witnesses so you feel worse for acting stupid.

yesterday when cleveland lost game 7 in detroit 79-61, lebron james scored 27 points while the entire rest of the team scored 34 points in 9 of 41 attempts.

i guess part of the reason lebron is lebron and i’m me is because of the difference between what each of us would say in the locker room after such a performance.

after much, much procrastinating (and many, many complaints from my wife) the thumbnail link has been restored to all the gallery pages.

i don’t know why this isn’t the account of every trip barry bonds makes to the plate:

the first pitch sailed behind bonds back, the next four were all inside including one that hit bonds bat handle (incidentally, considered a strike) and finally the fifth pitch hit bonds in the shoulder as he turned to protect himself.

russ springer v. barry bonds, 16 may 2006

i’m still feeling lucky on a google search for “feldt” but am getting no love on the “matthew” page at wikipedia…

my vote should count for much more than one since i’m in an every shrinking population of folk who are fortunate enough to live above poverty but are not rich, or smart enough to avoid high taxes.

saturday we came across a landscaper without arms – not without hands, without arms. he was barefoot and pushing a lawnmower with his chin. he wasn’t wearing shoes because he was using his feet and toes for picking weeds.

it should go without saying but this guy completely fucked anyone in the future who invites me to attend their self pity party.

yesterday i ate lunch with despair. he was recognizing the one year anniversary of his wife’s death. in great detail he described for me the difference between depression and despair and i now feel as if i truly know.

i passed by a dime in the parking lot today pretty much because this bet curbed any enthusiasm i may have had for picking it up…