here is my attempt to recreate the post that was lost yesterday:

a lot of people like to claim they come from humble beginnings, white trash if you will. but i have a standard that says if you don’t have a repertoire of stories like the one below you aren’t in the club (which by the way, is what you should really be glad for).

my aunt, who happens to be only two years older than me, accompanied her husband on a boating trip his company took as a retreat down at lake of the ozarks in southwestern missouri (telling in its own right, but certainly not the punchline).

having recently had a boob job my aunt was anxious to show off her new assets so as the yacht pulled away from the dock, she strolled out on the bow, took off her top and started to sun bathe. her husband, i suppose some might say my inlaw, wasn’t as keen to the topless sun bathing idea and to protect his coworkers innocent eyes, he stormed out to where my aunt was lying, demanded she put her top back on and then punched her in the face.

to no one’s great surprise, save her husband, punching a woman in the face is even more offensive than topless sun bathing so as every good white trash story goes, the police get involved. my aunt had her husband arrested and then waited in the police station, modestly attired in a towel, for more than two hours for my grandmother to come pick her up.

the only surprise here is that after the show she put on, none of her husband’s coworkers offered to give her a lift home.