for a people who allegedly speak my language i am more often confused by what they say to me than i would have expected.

yesterday i went to fill up our lpg (liquid petroleum gas) container. i won’t recount the “who’s on first” routine i went through on the phone trying to figure out where to take the tank, but when i got to the filling station and told the attendant i wanted to fill the tank he babbled a bunch a stuff at me which gave me the impression i was supposed to fill the tank myself at some crazy looking pump. i asked

“you want me to fill this up myself over there?”

and he responded

hell no! we have trained professionals for that.

now there’s the plain spoken english i’m looking for…

its always great humor asking the local grocers here for packaged foods. the answer always involves some kitchen appliance and the instructions on how to make it.

i don’t think they’re understanding my question. i want something that only requires and egg and water to become complete.

i always expected to put up a valiant fight against getting old, but yesterday when the second to last molar on the bottom right side of my jaw crumbled to dust in my mouth it seemed like a pretty good time to just roll over and accept it…

the first few times i saw folks walking around without shoes, the weather was cold and wet but they had a rastafarian, granola look about them and i figured them to be dedicated to being one with the world.

when i crossed paths with the middle aged, balding guy who’s gut nearly drooped past his too tight shorts coming barefoot out of the grocery i realized this wasn’t just a hippy thing.

turns out being barefoot is all good here and not even an uncommon sight in restaurants. i wish i could tell you that this flair for foot display is due to the kiwi’s having exceptional gorgeous feet but that has not been my experience so far…

my biggest disappointment in new zealand so far is not being able to answer everyone’s question about which way the water spirals down a toilet bowl.

the toilets here shoot water in every direction and it all goes running down at once. there is no rotation to speak of…

the fatigue of raising kids and struggling to complete the most mundane tasks such as eating and dressing has made me lazy on other fronts.

as a result i have just been screwed in the most predictable fashion. in the future my kids may be naked and hungry but this will never happen again.

i assure you the Java support in OSX (13949712720901ForOSX) more greatly influences my affection for apple than any silly iphone…

and i’ve posted my defect report to the apple bug database.

for the first time in nearly three months i pulled my clothes for the day from a drawer instead of a suitcase…

if you get most of your entertainment from a consumer nation that runs halloween specials and candy advertisements full time at the end of october then its inevitable that the kids of your country will want in on the candy grab themselves.

this is what appears to be happening in new zealand. we knocked on about a dozen doors and were rewarded only once with candy. you have to give ethan a lot of credit because he was never discouraged and always convinced the next house would be the one who knew how to celebrate halloween properly.

and before you get the wrong idea, we weren’t alone in trying to mark the holiday in traditional candy groveling fashion – there were locals giving it their best as well. halloween is obviously a critical mass holiday and i’d say new zealand is a few years away from being there.