the first paragraph from a front page article in the new york times (its so annoying i can’t bring myself to linking to it…):

ramallah, west bank – president bush, making his first visit to the palestinian territories, expressed confidence here on thursday that an israeli-palestinian peace treaty would be signed during his last year in office, and urged israel not to disrupt efforts to build stronger palestinian security forces, which he called essential to the creation of a democratic palestine.

its a good thing this palestinian business just occurred. had it been going on before the u.s. government might have been distracted from completing the war in afghanistan. and its so obvious no serious president would want to undertake solving a centuries old conflict in the fleeting moments of their presidency so they could pad their legacy.

all the palestinians must be so proud the u.s. president finally located their country on a map and made his way there for the first time. who knew they were there? oh, and to embrace democracy just brings back all the fond memories of elections of old when the world rewarded palestine with international sanctions after voting in a representative government.

that was just the first paragraph. please mr. bush, stay home and confine your ignorant and insulting policies to the nation that elected you.

i’m very sensitive to criticism.

meaning, if someone else criticizes something in a way i hadn’t already thought of, i feel bad i didn’t think of it first.

you can only blame the parents…

dad (reaching out to steady his son’s ice cream cone): careful.
son: what’s wrong dad?
dad: i didn’t want you to drop your ice cream cone. nothing in the world is sadder than a little boy who drops his ice cream cone. well, except maybe dead kittens.
son: or a dead little kid eating an ice cream cone.
dad: well, yes. i guess that would be sadder.

a sampling of the humor i get routinely from one of my in-laws:

i’m truly envious of ethan when i see the sheep-chasing picture. i knew from the second i saw the picture that i would have a blast scattering a flock of sheep. it would be a natural progression from my lifelong love of chasing pigeons, and a better progression than chasing vultures which, i learned from experience, is not the one-sided battle the uninitiated might envision. vultures have a regurgitation-defense. first, think about what they eat. think about what it smells like before they even start to consume it. yeah, bother the vultures at your own peril.

they added a disclaimer that this wasn’t a scientific poll, but this is the first thing time months i’ve seen anything on cnn i can agree with…

how do you feel about the u.s. election campaign so far?

we don’t make new year’s resolutions year. never have. we are however, reflective. in fact, part of our reflecting this new year’s eve was insightful on the resolution business.

natalie: its hard to believe i became a doctor.
matthew: why? because you never planned on it, or because of all the effort it took to complete?
natalie: because of all the effort it took to complete the application…