happy holidays. see you again at the beginning of the new year.

cheers!

i thought dick cheney had died given how scarce he’s been – but it turns out he was on the rush limbaugh show earlier in the week.

i can’t think of two other people who’s opinions i would be less interested in hearing…

it truly is the holiday season – over the weekend i was carded, yeah, asked for identification, to buy alcohol. when i guffawed the clerk gave me another present “we have to ask for id for anyone who looks under thirty.”

now i’m starting to wonder if checkout clerks are working for tips.

the kitchen garbage bags we recently bought feature ‘odor control’ and i swear the ‘odor control’ smell is ten times worse than the smell of trash.

congratulations to my bank bb&t who in 2008 can clear a check in a mere seventeen days.

i think its the difference between what you believe gay people are and what i do. and i live in new york city so i’m just going to make a supposition that i have more experience being around them. and i’ll tell you this, religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. and people, and the protections that we have for religion, we protect religion and talk about a lifestyle choice. gay people don’t choose to be gay – at what age did you choose to not be gay?

…you talk about the pro-life movement being one of the great shames of our nation, i think if you want number two, i think its that. i think its an absolute, its a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to have to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights.

john stewart to mike huckabee
the daily show with john stewart, 2008.12.09

the only good news i got in my first year of fantasy football was the season mercifully ending yesterday instead of dragging out all the way through the end of the nfl regular season.

now that foreplay consists of equal parts arousal and planning the next day, i feel like a veteran parent.

is there any other food that can burn the top of your mouth like pizza?

one of the funniest things i’ve heard said in a while:

“i was up in the middle of the night watching the brady bunch and thinking, this show is so seventies. then i realized, it was the seventies.”

its wishes like this, from children to santa claus, that make me want to believe in st. nicholas too.

phoebe keeps asking “when can I go see ethan?” and asked santa to bring ethan back.

phoebe was ethan’s best friend in new zealand.