i’m geeked out about my fancy new gps performance training device. but what i’ll remember about my inaugural ride with the new toy is not the fancy charts like the ones below, but the dip to zero mph at the fifty-four minute mark that captures where i flipped over the bike going off a four foot jump that i miscalculated.

my ribs are sore, my right leg is swollen about twice the size as my left… but i have a permanent record and the gps coordinates of the exact spot should i discover later that i also suffered brain damage and can’t remember what to avoid next time…

(the number 4 looking squiggle in the middle of the map is where the bike and i went flying)

so that’s how they get the ball to die after slicing it over the net…

in my daughters world

the nfl is “fantasy football”

and the birds on her school playground pick her up and fly her around town during recess

i’m enjoy being a passenger on my daughter’s journey through life.

the kids heard us talking about taxes and health benefits and how much different they are for us and their aunts. they asked why they were so much different for their aunts and we had to explain that we were married but their aunts are not because federal and most state laws prohibit same sex marriages.

when they were done asking questions, ethan got all excited and said he was going to ask his teacher about it when he returned to school on monday. a bit startled, we asked why would you do that?

he said they had been studying civil rights and this sounded like discrimination. our concern was immediately replaced with pride that this comes instinctively to our son.

i approved a resolution today.

my resolution condemns politicians for grandstanding on national tragedies instead of doing something/anything meaningful to address the actual issues surrounding the tragedy (or addressing any of the other pressing issues that should be dominating their attention).

my resolution is not limited to condemning federal officials, it includes all the state and local leaders who jumped on the bandwagon of meaningless gestures too.

my resolution concludes with requiring everyone who got together in bipartisan fashion to approve their meaningless resolution to work with similar vigor to address the real issues of the day, which in fact is what we had in mind when we elected them.

but unfortunately, the one thing my resolution has in common with all of theirs, it will accomplish nothing.

i never bought in to astrology, but that was when i was the wretched sign of cancer the crab.

now that my astrological sign has changed to the sexy, positive, gemini its time to take a second look…

got confirmation today that i am scheduled to take a ride in a police car next week to assist local law enforcement officers with reviewing the safety of our neighborhood as part of a local community watch program.

i’ve never gotten in a policy car of my own choice…

i wonder if that fact makes me more or less an asset in this effort…

shortly after natalie and i first met we were on a trip together and had separate plans for the day.

she returned to the hotel earlier than expected and i was out wandering around. she wasn’t sure how to get in touch with me so she picked up my palm pilot and looked to see if there was a number or note indicating what i might be up to.

somehow she ended up opening a note with the title “betties”. for inexplicable reasons i kept a file on my palm pilot of girls i thought were hot and potentially attainable, as if i couldn’t remember this information in my head.

that note never got me anywhere but it was certainly good for a laugh that day.

i just recently converted natalie’s old palm pilot data to the ipod touch she for christmas. when she was checking everything out to make sure it worked ok, she showed me a note of her own titled “betties”. the only name in there was my own.

yet another example of how i married wiser than my wife.

seriously, lebacle was injured in his next basketball contest?

karma isn’t a bitch, its a nasty bitch.

and just in case it isn’t clear karma. i wasn’t wishing any ill on lebacle, i was simply pointing out that his karma accounting may be off…

two nights ago when the lakers were dismantling the cavaliers, lebacle james posted this to twitter:

crazy. karma is a bitch.. gets you every time. its not good to wish bad on anybody. god sees everything!

first, this is yet another example of how i went from being excited about twitter as a great place for meaningful information to be rapidly shared amongst interested parties to being completely not interested in the meaningless muses of the self infatuated…

second, if lebacle understood karma properly he should speak more carefully knowing that the way he left cleveland puts him down a right arm or maybe even a first born kid…

a young man grows increasingly mentally ill and guns down innocent people at a public grocery.

the opportunists, both left and right, push their preconceived notions about partisan politics instead of addressing the issue of how to best care for the mentally ill among us.

meanwhile, the mentally ill among us went on a gun buying spree…

hmm, i wonder if steven tyler will be a better judge on american idol than ellen was…