someone we met while standing in line asked where we were from, ethan responded:

“we’re living in florida right now”

the boy has traveled so much he doesn’t know the difference between moving and being on holiday…

even when its raining…

can you guess where?

our next door neighbor was trying to round up his kids for dinner and instead of following their dad home obediently, as no kid ever has done, they asked what is for dinner.

always one to help out, i responded “gruel and eyeballs”

their eldest son, standing at the top of my driveway looked down at me incredulously and said “no! my mom was cooking and that is something only my father would cook”

it would seem much more virtuous if we were as eager to save civilian populations from their evil leaders if we did so in countries where there wasn’t oil under their ground…

we showed the kids the miracle worker and i suspect they took some liberty with the real story of helen keller.

my spidey sense start tingling when the eldest son called out his step mom for bending the truth:

“…you’ll find that in the south we make up these little stories just to amuse each other, i hope that you won’t mind.”

its not the quote that gives them away, the quote is spot on truth, i’ve just never met anyone in the south that direct and honest…

it may be the nicest thing my father has ever said to me:

“there are moments when i’m visiting that i envy the family you have created.”

and i get to be a part of it every day.

the nuclear equivalent of getting bread and milk when there is snow in the forecast…

the main u.s. manufacturer of potassium iodide tablets has run out of stock after a massive demand generated by the japanese nuclear crisis, the company’s head said wednesday.

“the spike is enormous … we were out of stock by friday night,” said alan morris, president of anbex which supplies the drug to individuals and retailers, including online.

read the entire story here

if the bike accident wasn’t enough to make me feel old, the physical therapy is certainly driving the point home. so much for my delusion of good health…

“do you think the turtle died yet?”

“what turtle?”

“the turtle that ate the balloon [neighbor] lost to the sky yesterday”

we’re obviously succeeding in teaching our kids to be good stewards of the environment but maybe have some work to do on “cause and effect”…

over the weekend…

…our accountant finished our taxes and our refunds are greater than the amount we owe one state. positive.

…for the first time ever, both my kids picked up a baseball bat and hit pitched balls. positive.

…i was nimble enough to get out and start some of the work in the yard that has been neglected since my bike accident. positive.

…we did that stupid time change thing. neutral to mostly obnoxious.

…i should be on a plane today to start the annual ski trip. so very sad.

the best part of being media unconscious during the 80s and 90s is that i get to enjoy the best of those two decades now for the first time.

i just watched goodfellas, which was hella-good.

and, as a george carlin fan, i now see why he chose joe pesci to pray to…

…i decided to worship the sun. but, as i said, i don’t pray to the sun. you know who i pray to? joe pesci. two reasons: first of all, i think he’s a good actor, okay? to me, that counts. second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. joe pesci doesn’t fuck around. in fact, joe pesci came through on a couple of things that god was having trouble with.

- george carlin, “there is no god”